o_d_btard

OMFG...I'm back on LJ posting about suicide. It seems to be my current go-to site for emo-ting and I'm going to have to do something about that. In the meantime, since it's the only place that I've already written about the subject (see The Case For Rational Suicide), I'll continue here.

My Suicide Clock (think Doomsday Clock) is now at about a quarter to midnight. It moved up a notch this past week when I got passed over for a "Hail Mary" job with relative security, health insurance and a 401k that would have been a I lifeline for me and many of the problems -including health, career and financial issues- I'm currently burdened with.

The long and the short of it is, I am currently at REDCON 2 and have about a year left before I go to REDCON 1 readiness level prior to executing Operation An Hero (see: Personal Exit Strategy).

The only question I have to ask myself now is how to spend the cash I have to work with and what I want and need to do with the time I have left.

I'm lucky in that I don't have any family or much in the way of responsibilities to take into consideration however, I do have two cats that I need to make plans for before I shuffle off, so it's not like I can just fuck off on another set of excellent adventures seeking out Opium dens in exotic places guilt-free without a plan.

I definitely intend to indulge my wanderlust before I /quit but what else? I'd undoubtedly enjoy my last year more if I got surgery on my wrecked shoulder, busted foot and whatever is wrong with my hip before I go travelling but the price tag and time spent in physical therapy recovering would rob me of 6 months and a good chunk of the change I have left to do what I want to do.

Hmm...